How Todd Got The Job
by Nidonemo
Summary: What? Did you think that Todd was the ONLY photographer Professor Oak considered when he was hiring for the research team in "Pokemon Snap"?


How Todd Got The Job

By Nidonemo

The sound of yelling and screaming ripped into the midday air on Pokemon Island, from within the research facility. Pidgey were shocked into flight at the loud roars, Rattata scampered out of the field and into the tall grass in order to hide. Spectacled research assistants in lab coats and a short green-haired secretary all stared at the double doors that lead into the main laboratory, eyes wide with fright and shock.

"What the hell is this?" screamed Professor Oak as he slammed a folder of pictures down on the table, spilling the contents out across the top of it. Pictures of Pokemon in lewd, sexual positions performing unmentionable acts scattered in every direction.

"I thought-" the photographer started, voice quivering.

"No you _didn't_ think! You were just being _disgusting_ again!" He roared "What is this vile garbage! A Pikachu _fucking_ a Poliwag! A _Poliwag!_ My god man, you're a vile, sick, son of a bitch! Forcing these creatures into such vile positions and then snapping photographs! These pictures are meant to educate the public and research these creatures! Not to make copious amounts of disgusting smut! Children will be seeing these images!" the professor ranted, waving his arms and flipping over the table which fell to the floor with a loud crash. The photographer raced underneath a nearby heavy lab table.

"B-but the children need to learn how these creatures reproduce! Where the babies come from!" the photographer pointed out, peeking out from underneath the table. Professor Oak's face went from its already light shade of red, to a much deeper crimson, and a vein pushed against the surface of his forehead.

"They don't need to see a Machoke _ejaculating_ onto the face of a Jynx!" he screamed, grabbing the folder and ripping it in two. "To think that I would give you another chance to redeem yourself in the name of science and Pokemon research!" He yelled as he grabbed the photographer's camera bag and tore it open, spilling canisters of film out onto the laboratory floor. "To even suggest that I, a respected man of science and a dedicated Pokemon researcher, would even consider you again after your last _disgusting_ array of smut you dared to call data collection!" the professor roared as he took the camera from the bag, and violently hurled it across the room, where it smashed to pieces against the wall.

"That was valid research! It was data on how Pokemon defecated, a normal function of the digest-"

"You titled it _'Shit Happens!: A Closer Look At Pokemon Pooping!'_ and claimed it was best suited for a children's book you were designing, you demented freak!" Professor Oak raged, grabbing the frightened photographer and shaking him violently, while the vein came close to bursting on the researcher's forehead. "Now get out of my lab, and don't ever come back here! You are hereby banned from everything! The island, the research, the Zero-One, anything relating to the progression of Pokemon education!" Oak screamed, shoving the man to the floor and towards the door. The photographer scrambled to his feet and raced out of the lab, fearing for his life.

The professor's heart raced, and his blood pressure climbed, he took a few wobbly steps backward and braced himself on a nearby lab chair, panting. He felt a light pain in his chest and immediately rummaged around in a drawer for a small pill bottle. Grasping it, he forced the lid off and dumped three small blue pills into his quivering hand.

"That sick bastard's going to give me a heart attack!" he snarled as he popped the capsules into his mouth and grabbed a nearby bottle of water, gulping it frantically. His heart settling, and breath slowing, the professor collapsed into a chair nearby and let out a heavy, exhausted sigh. After a few minutes of silence there was a light knock at the double doors.

"Yes! What is it!" the professor snapped, getting to his feet. One of the doors opened and the short green-haired secretary poked her head inside.

"S-sir, is everything alright?" she asked looking around the lightly destroyed laboratory. The professor sighed and waved her inside.

"Yes...yes, everything...no everything is not alright! I'm never going to get this research project finished-or even started for that matter-and I just fired the last photographer I could find, and I have a load of Pokemon smut to burn before anyone else sees it. No thanks to that useless man who jokingly calls himself skilled with a camera!" he growled trying to keep his temper in check. The secretary winced, but entered the laboratory and carefully made her way around the overturned table, the film canisters, and the photographs that littered the floor, all while doing her best to keep her eyes from the pictures in question.

"Well, sir, we do have one more photographer who wanted to try out for the research team. He's new to the field of photography but he has a lot of potential!" she said, trying to keep up a cheery tone in her voice, as she handed a dossier to the angered Pokemon professor. Oak took the file from her and sighed as he flipped it open.

"Hmm...Todd Snap. What an interesting name..." he mumbled as he flipped through the pages of information. "Very well, contact this Todd and we'll see what the boy can do." Professor Oak said as he handed the folder back to his secretary. Looking around the lab he sighed and shook his head. "Oh and be sure to run a background check on him...no sense repeating past mistakes." he sighed.

"And that is how Todd Snap got his very first Pokemon assignment!" explained a young brown-haired Pokemon trainer. He leaned back in the booth and took a sip from his lemonade. A magazine lay there next to his glass, Todd Snap was pictured on the cover holding a camera in one hand and being tackled by a Pickachu. The trainer's companion, a young lady Pokemon trainer with long blue hair stared at him with a stunned expression that could only be described as shocked and disgusted. A few awkward moments passed in the nearly empty diner, and soon she regained her composure and leaned forward, staring him right in the eye.

"Zach, you're a sick fuck you know that?" she stated unflinchingly.

"Guilty!" he replied with a broad smile on his face.


End file.
